Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Yes and No...

"Will you play games with me?"  
"Can I have another snack?"
 "Can I play with my friends?" 
"Can i help you?"  
"Will you help me"

I am amazed at the amount of times every day in which I have to say these two words:  YES and NO.

Sometimes the sheer volume of questions and the impending deductive reasoning exercises I must force myself to engage in to come up with an answer is quite overwhelming.  Most of the time, the answer is easy, "No, you may not jump off the top bunk."  or  "Yes, I heard you ask if you can skip doing your homework and watch one more episode of Jonas... but I'm positive that you already know what the answer to that question will be, my sweet child."

But other times, I am forced to weigh the options, look at the big picture, think ahead, and try to stick to my guns even in the times when I would rather let them all fend for themselves and just leave me be.

I'm not a big decision maker.  Some people revel in taking charge and making choices.  Me, I'd rather have somebody else do it for me.  I'm fairly laid back at home, and so for most things I have to muster up the energy to establish and enforce my answers.

This indecision (and a nagging people pleaser problem that I'm ruthlessly trying to rid myself of) make those two little words weightier.  I am realizing that I'm too quick with my "yes" and "no".  I am convicted that I do not spend enough time asking the Holy Spirit to guide my "yeah's" and "nay's."  I want to be more purposeful in how I spend my time and energy.

God has really been challenging me in this area.  What am I saying "yes" to, that instead, I should be saying "no?"  What am I saying "no" to, that should be warranting an enthusiastic "yes?"  He is calling me to make some big changes in my life and I am struggling in walking out those decisions in obedience.  But I learned a long time ago, that I made Jesus LORD of my life, and that means that HE gets to tell me what to do, and my job is simply to do what He says.

SO, for me, God is challenging me to say more "yes's" to... "Mom, will you sit down and read this book to me?" More "no's" to wasting time on Facebook.   More "yes's" to studying and writing.  More "no's" to putting my husband's needs behind everyone else.  "Yes's" to patience, perseverance, and advocating for my children.  "No's" to feeling like I have to do everything for everybody.

But that's MY stuff.  What's YOUR stuff?  Maybe for you, you need to say more "yes's" to serving outside your home and more "no's" to too many kids activities.  Maybe you need to say "no" to that boss who is asking too much of you and say "yes" to something you feel you should be doing to make your marriage stronger?  Maybe you need to clean less and play more. (This is definitely not me!!!  But I know you girls are out there!!!)

All I'm saying, my friends, is that we have to continually seek God for direction for our Y's and N's - and then have the courage to walk it out.  We cannot just keep walking through our lives blindly saying "yes" and "no" without regard to God's sovereign plan and leading in our lives.  We'll get messed up doing the wrong things at the wrong time for the wrong reasons.  And that's no good for anyone.

So here's to you... may your "yes's" be full of excitement and adventure, and your "no's" full of strength and grace.

Colossions 1:9-12 - Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

I love you.
Kristie 

3 comments:

J said...

My husband's first response to the kids is always no. He doesn't think about it. There is a name for this "negative first response" He is getting better at thinking about it first, because there is nothing worse (at times) than a kid hearing no, begging and then getting a yes-then they think they nagged you into it, not great!
I find myself saying a lot of "Not now's" or "we'll see how we can work that into the schedule"
I'm not quite "past the wishing" yet. I want to do more, but I struggle with the stuff I have now. I am not on the pc as much, but still too much. Balance, balance....ugh! I know this is a busy season, but when can I simply be instead of all this doing?
Nice post.

aaron browne said...

great blog Kristi! look forward to reading it more often...

Unknown said...

Loved your entry, Kristie! I continually work on what to say Yes & No to also. I do want God's best. So many things bombard us as moms.

With that in mind, I did say "yes" to my children this morning and read 5 chapters of one of the books I recommended yesterday, "Little Pilgrim's Progress." Have you read that one? It's so very sweet with tons of symbolism to discuss & gleam from. I bet Lucy would really enjoy it!

Thanks for your encouragement!
Maria