Grace For the Moment

My heart is overwhelmed tonight. I got to spend a few precious minutes with a dear high school friend this afternoon. Amy and I were thrown together in a choir group in the 10th grade - and she quickly became one of my closest friends in high school. I haven't seen her for many, many years, but recently I heard that she had cancer. After tracking her down, I learned that they had discovered Stage 2 breast cancer when she was 12 weeks pregnant with her second child - and despite treatment, it has progressed into her spine.

Today, some high school classmates held a benefit and I was able to see Amy. She is exactly like I always remembered her... upbeat, bubbly, and filled with an uncanny ability to make you feel like you are the most important person in the world. We tried to find a quiet spot and she pulled her chair close to mine and began to ask about what I was doing and about my family. As I told her about my life she beamed, "Oh, Kristie... your life is everything you always dreamed it would be... I am so thrilled for you!"

As we talked, I was overwhelmed by her strength. I was overwhelmed by her courage. She has videotaped hundreds of messages for her children to watch of her as they grow older, so they will always have a piece of her with them. Videos for their wedding day. Videos for the day they become parents. Videos reminding them how much she loves them and how proud she is to be their mother.

I look at her and say, "I can't believe how strong you are." And she speaks profound words to me. She says, "If you were in my shoes, you would be too. You just would." I can't imagine facing what she is facing, but somehow, I believe her. She seems to be drawing from a place in her that she never knew existed until she was faced with this incredible battle.

I've have indeed experienced those times when I felt like I wasn't strong enough to handle what was sitting before me. Small and trite compared to my friend's struggles - nevertheless I have seen the grace of God flood over me in a rush of supernatural adrenaline that has allowed me to face the moments where I felt I couldn't take a second more.

Today, the words of a new favorite song have been constantly ringing through my head:

Stronger. You are stronger.
Sin is broken. You have saved me.
It is written. Christ is risen.
Jesus You are Lord of all.

I am thankful that I have a God who is stronger than me. He is stronger than my deepest fears and lowliest moments. In my weakest...He is strongest.

I am indeed thankful for the grace for the moment.

Homeward Bound

i haven't left my house in a while.  a couple days actually.  if you count total hours out of my home this week, it would have to be less than 15.  moms group on tuesday and wednesday night, a movie on thursday night, dinner at my sisters friday night.  other than that, its been home sweet home.

right now i'm on a stretch of about 36 straight hours by myself with just my kids.  jeff is at the men's retreat (or "boy camp" as my kids are calling it.)  Dottie has been a bit under the weather, so i decided that trying to get the whole crew to church by myself would be futile,  so here we are.  family bonding time.

sometimes i think i'm a little odd in the fact that i can be at home for long stretches and it doesn't seem to bother me too much.  of course, i get a little jumpy and short and testy with the kids, but for the most part i seem to be able to entertain myself pretty well.  i've got lots of bible study lessons to write, kids that always need something, a pantry full of ideas for cooking and baking, and facebook...what more could a girl need?

actually, i'm starting to realize that maybe its all part of how God made me.  maybe in a part of his grand scheme for my life, he equipped me with the temperament i was going to need for the purposes he has for me.  i am a teacher and writer - which requires a lot of time by myself studying.  i love it.  i am a musician and songwriter which requires more time by myself sitting at my piano.  love that too.  i am a mother of four which means that there are a significant amount of obstacles that i face it trying to get out the door.  so i stay home instead... and that's just  fine with me.

all i'm saying is that every once and a while you stumble on a part of your personality that seems to be custom fit for the direction God has for your life.  Granted, there are times that you feel like the direction God is leading is a huge stretch outside of yourself, but then there are the times when it feels natural and inborn... and i'm thankful for those times.  it's comforting to feel purpose in what you naturally gravitate towards.

i am learning more and more to embrace the way i am.  i used to feel weird about the fact that i like to stay home all the time... but now i realize that it is part of the grand design of my life.  people always ask me how i come up with creative ideas for things.  my answer: i think about stuff... alot.  i read... alot.  i imagine... alot.

so, what little gift did God place in you that custom fits his grand scheme for your life?  it can be easy to overlook sometimes.   maybe the fact that you to hang out with friends and always have a "coffee" scheduled just seems like habit.  but what if that social part of you was designed so that you could be an encouragement and influence in people's lives.  maybe that organizational side of you seems to be "just the way you are..."  but what if God made you able to administrate all kinds of things so that you could make a difference in the world by helping practically accomplish the dreams God has given you and others.  What about you guys that are fantastic in the workplace - you thrive in a business setting and love your careers.  I truly believe that God has given you the gifts you have to use for his great plan on the earth.

so - here's to embracing who you are.  here's to not comparing yourself to the way other people live and instead embracing who you were designed to be.  here's to you... in all your uniqueness.

ok - perhaps i should get out of these sweat pants...

Girls Night!

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you! 

Thank you all so much for helping with our very first Girls Night!  I was totally blown away last night!  We had planned on about 200 girls... and had 400 show up!!!  Thank you to all who jumped in to help register, do hair, paint nails, run to the store to buy more of EVERYTHING, and help with crowd control.  (By the way - I'm not sure how the rumor that the Jonas Brothers were there got started... but it was pretty funny to hear them chanting outside the doors and see them all come running into the auditorium screaming!!!)

I was mostly blessed to see SO many visitors, neighbors and friends there who you all invited.  I spoke to so many parents who this was their first time at RVC - and because of your hard work, their girls had a fantastic night!

Ready for another one?!?!?  Hmmmm...maybe in the spring!