The Right Tool for the Job

I am hopelessly unorganized.

There. I admit it. Its out there in the universe for you all to see...

I am unavoidably messy.

Yup. I leave my clothes in a pile at the EXACT spot where I took them off. And they will remain there for quite some time.

I am perpetually distracted.

I find myself trying very hard to focus on details and specifics. And yet my poor little brain just wanders away around detail number 4 and starts thinking about something pretty I saw last month.

Now, don't get me wrong. This is not a "wow... I wish I was like so and so but I just have to accept myself the way I am" post. If I was writing about myself 5 years ago - that is exactly what it would have been. But I have made peace with the way I am. I recognize the talents and gifts that God has given me cause me to think a bit differently - and I'm ok with that.

BUT - that doesn't mean that I don't try and work on these areas of inadequacy. I mean, the fact of the matter is, I do have 4 children who need to be properly fed and clothed; who need permission slips filled out and teeth cleaned, so I recognize the importance of all things "responsible."

And so, I've tried to help myself out a bit by filling my life with tools to help me get a little bit more organized. I have a big family calendar where I try and write everything down so I don't forget. I put my kids school notes in a specific place on the fridge so I can see what they need to bring to school each day. I flag emails that I need to respond to. I make lists and notes and remind my sister to remind me to remind my husband about stuff. I'm trying.

I am realizing that if you have a "weakness" - its really important to KNOW it - OWN it - and DO SOMETHING about it. Surround yourself with things and people who can help you work through it. Oh my - am I thankful for the people who have come around me in my areas of ministry who send emails, organize decorations, recruit volunteers, and handle all the stuff I STINK at.

I was thinking today about how lost I would be without my calendar. How its just the right tool for me - and if I USE it, I can keep myself from falling behind on all kinds of things.

And then I started thinking about the other areas that I am weak in. My propensity for people pleasing. The way I can speak gossip or negativity without a second thought. The temptations that I find my heart gravitating to over and over again. What am I doing about THOSE areas of vulnerability?

We all have weaknesses. You've got to OWN them - KNOW them - and DO SOMETHING about them.

Are you tempted to worry? Then write out all the scriptures you can find that assure you of God's faithfulness and His command to pray instead of fretting. Give yourself some tools to help your mind fight the battle of anxiety.

Are you finding yourself overspending? Then don't put yourself in a situation where you can spend money. Put away those credit cards. Don't wander around Target when you're bored. Recognize the times where you are tempted to comfort yourself with "stuff" and choose instead to run to Jesus.

Are you finding yourself a little too excited to see that guy at the gym who isn't your husband? Then, sweet friend... KNOW IT - OWN IT - and do EVERYTHING in your power to RUN from that temptation. Tell a friend. And NOT the friend who will giggle about it and encourage you. Tell the friend that will rip up your membership and show up at every class and make sure you don't do something stupid.

I think sometimes we find ourselves in a mess because we just aren't honest enough about the areas we are not strong in. If we would be purposeful in addressing our spiritual weakness instead of ignoring them or trying to hide them - I think a LOT more of us would find healing and the strength to overcome those flaws and failures.

So just be honest with yourself and then get to work in finding the right tools for the job. You'll be SO glad you did.

Now, where did I put that calendar?

Unable to be Unfaithful

Never changing

Never failing

You are faithful and true

Sure as the morning

A new day dawning

You are faithful and true

We sang these beautiful words penned by my sweet friend Ryan Williams this morning at church. I was struck anew by them - although I have sung them hundreds of times.

NEVER changing...

NEVER failing...

Faithful.

What a comfort that is to me today. Seems to me that everything is changing. My kids are changing. My husband is changing. My friends are changing. I am changing.

I always thought I loved change. But as you get older - change carries a whole lot more weight than it did when I was younger. Change affects my comfort. Change affects my security. Change takes everything I THINK I know about my life and future and flips it upside down - inside out - and leaves me wondering what in the world I can count on.

Change very often breeds anxiety. I don't like anxiety. Who does, really? I don't like lying awake at night trying to figure out how it all is going to work out. I don't like worry. I don't like stress. Change seems to bring these feelings into my heart and mind - and I hate it.

But the truth about anxiety -is that it is a symptom of something spiritually out of whack in my heart. For if I TRULY believed that God has a plan for my life; if I TRULY believed that He has my days and minutes and hours beautifully and mercifully ordered; if I TRULY believed that He was FAITHFUL, then there should be no fear in change.

And that was what struck me this morning as I sang. I realized I had lost sight of one very important fact. Not only was God faithful - He is UNABLE to be UNFAITHFUL.

Although I know in my head that He is faithful, I think that sometimes I convince myself that "this time" He has somehow forgotten to take care of me. Or that "this time" He has decided to step off the scene and let me fend for myself for a while. "This time" in "this circumstance" in "this situation" He has chosen to turn His back on my troubles.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

God is constant. Forever the same. In a world where everything WILL change, He is the rock that we can all fix our gaze on. He cannot be unfaithful to me. Its not in his character.

This is fantastic news - because not only is God unchanging; He is good. So when I wonder what the heck is going on in my life, I can rest that my good and faithful Father has it covered. Today, tomorrow, forever. Everytime. Every situation. In every possible way imaginable, He is working on my behalf.

When my anxiety begins to whisper to my heart that He has forgotten about me, I must remind myself that He is UNABLE to forget about me because He has literally carved my name on His hand. (Isaiah 49:16)

So today, I am again reminded that He is...

Faithful.

Today forever.

More than faithful.

My hope... Forever.

Yes and No...

"Will you play games with me?"  

"Can I have another snack?"

 "Can I play with my friends?" 

"Can i help you?"  

"Will you help me"

I am amazed at the amount of times every day in which I have to say these two words:  YES and NO.

Sometimes the sheer volume of questions and the impending deductive reasoning exercises I must force myself to engage in to come up with an answer is quite overwhelming.  Most of the time, the answer is easy, "No, you may not jump off the top bunk."  or  "Yes, I heard you ask if you can skip doing your homework and watch one more episode of Jonas... but I'm positive that you already know what the answer to that question will be, my sweet child."

But other times, I am forced to weigh the options, look at the big picture, think ahead, and try to stick to my guns even in the times when I would rather let them all fend for themselves and just leave me be.

I'm not a big decision maker.  Some people revel in taking charge and making choices.  Me, I'd rather have somebody else do it for me.  I'm fairly laid back at home, and so for most things I have to muster up the energy to establish and enforce my answers.

This indecision (and a nagging people pleaser problem that I'm ruthlessly trying to rid myself of) make those two little words weightier.  I am realizing that I'm too quick with my "yes" and "no".  I am convicted that I do not spend enough time asking the Holy Spirit to guide my "yeah's" and "nay's."  I want to be more purposeful in how I spend my time and energy.

God has really been challenging me in this area.  What am I saying "yes" to, that instead, I should be saying "no?"  What am I saying "no" to, that should be warranting an enthusiastic "yes?"  He is calling me to make some big changes in my life and I am struggling in walking out those decisions in obedience.  But I learned a long time ago, that I made Jesus LORD of my life, and that means that HE gets to tell me what to do, and my job is simply to do what He says.

SO, for me, God is challenging me to say more "yes's" to... "Mom, will you sit down and read this book to me?" More "no's" to wasting time on Facebook.   More "yes's" to studying and writing.  More "no's" to putting my husband's needs behind everyone else.  "Yes's" to patience, perseverance, and advocating for my children.  "No's" to feeling like I have to do everything for everybody.

But that's MY stuff.  What's YOUR stuff?  Maybe for you, you need to say more "yes's" to serving outside your home and more "no's" to too many kids activities.  Maybe you need to say "no" to that boss who is asking too much of you and say "yes" to something you feel you should be doing to make your marriage stronger?  Maybe you need to clean less and play more. (This is definitely not me!!!  But I know you girls are out there!!!)

All I'm saying, my friends, is that we have to continually seek God for direction for our Y's and N's - and then have the courage to walk it out.  We cannot just keep walking through our lives blindly saying "yes" and "no" without regard to God's sovereign plan and leading in our lives.  We'll get messed up doing the wrong things at the wrong time for the wrong reasons.  And that's no good for anyone.

So here's to you... may your "yes's" be full of excitement and adventure, and your "no's" full of strength and grace.

Colossions 1:9-12 - Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

I love you.

Kristie 

Benefit for Leslie McClain

Good morning friends! Wanted to pass along the information for Leslie's fundraiser.

It's being held at Grizzly's Grill 'N Saloon, 15020 Glazier Avenue, Apple Valley, on the morning of Saturday, September 26th from 8:00 to 10:30 am (last seating at 10:00). The cost is $6.00 per ticket. Tickets are available for purchase at the reception desk of Apple Valley Ford Lincoln Mercury from Wednesday, September 16th through Wednesday, September 23rd. Tickets may also be reserved for purchase at the door by emailing
mclainbenefit@hotmail.com with your requested quantity. Checks can be made payable to the "Leslie McLain Donation Fund".

Grizzly's will donate the food and beverages and Thrivent Financial for Lutherans® will be matching the proceeds for this event (up to $3,200). A special thank you to both for their generosity.

On behalf of the people planning the benefit, thank you for your time.

How Do I Love Thee?

Oh, Target. Sweet Target. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I recognize that there are times that I take you for granted. Your shiny red circles. Your long kid friendly stroller carts. Your Starbucks lovingly placed for my shopping enjoyment.

Sometimes you have to stray away, before you realize what you had all along.

Yesterday, I went to Walmart.

I was in need of a few last minute school supplies (which my lovely Target was inexplicably sold out of!) so I headed off to my local Walmart. First of all, the cars in the parking lot were strangely parked wildly askew. Are their lines crooked? Is the Walmart shopper unable to line up their car with the painted lines? I was perplexed.

Then I tried to get a cart. For ALL my kids. You know, a multi-seater where I can strap in 2, throw one in the front, and let one hang off the back like the responsible mother I am. No big carts in sight. My children were forced to run around unrestrained which inevitably leads to a cart full of secretly hidden items which I have no idea where they came from. Did I really pick up 5 boxes of Fruit Gushers and not remember it?

Then I tried to push my teeny tiny cart through an aisle where some "associates" were stocking a shelf. Between their carts and the 3 other people standing there watching them, I couldn't get through. So I stood there. And I stood there. I kind of cleared my throat a little. Finally, I said, "Pardon me, can I sneak through, please?" No kidding... with the S -L-O-W-E-S-T movement possible, they painstakingly moved like 2 feet so I could inch by with my brood of children.

But the kicker...we decided to hit the restrooms on the way out. 3 of the 5 stalls have half taped on handwritten signs that say, "out of order." I'm waiting for my kids to come out of the stalls when an associate from the customer service desk comes in with a gallon of milk that has been returned because its gone bad. She opens it up and starts pouring it down the drain, filling the room with the fine aroma of spoiled milk! In the customer's bathroom!!!

So, Target, I know I strayed. I got sucked into the promise of cheaper diapers and Miley Cyrus clothing lines. But I've learned my lesson. I'm yours... eternally.

It's the Little Victories...

Ok, ok. Don't fall off your chairs or anything. I have been on a bit of a blogging "hiatus." I guess that would be quite an understatement, since my last post was from February. Oh well, such is life. And today is a new day and I'm ready to get rolling again.

We have had a major breakthrough at the Kerr house this summer. It has revolutionized our family dynamic, comforted my anxious heart, and brought joy and happiness to our whole clan. What is this monumental milestone? Charlie learned to ride his bike.

Yup. That's it. My 8 year old boy has finally crossed over into the ranks of the fearless and reckless boy-bike-riders. Now this might not seem like a big deal to you. But like I said before, it's a HUGE deal to us.

First of all, it has been something my husband has tirelessly worked towards for 3 summers in a row. Charlie has been terrified of his bike. (after a major wipeout... and a general lack of motivation for "thrill seeking activities.") And he has struggled with some large motor coordination - so it was actually a difficult thing physically for him to do. So - Dad gets the prize for tenacity and patience.

Secondly, it has encouraged me in my general "mom/worry" emotional state. I have to admit that I have some latent fears when it comes to my son. I guess when the kid arrives on the planet 12 weeks early, and the doctors give you a laundry list of things he "might not be able to do..." you always have in the back of your mind an anxiety that he will face extraordinary obstacles. Seeing my kid riding down the street yelling, "woo-hoo" all crazy and fast still chokes this poor mom up. Call me crazy... but it just gets to me. It's just another confirmation of God's faithfulness that He not only healed my son when he was a baby, but that He continues to heal my son as he grows and faces new obstacles and challenges.

I share this with you, my sweet friends, because I know that many of you have your own list of fears, worries, and seemingly endless milestones that you are walking through with your kids. Maybe its a behavior that you are battling every day - trying to consistently address and discipline. Maybe its a difficulty at school - and you are seeking God for the wisdom to know how to help your child overcome a disability or conflict. Maybe its potty training!!! Don't even get me started on that!

I mean, we all know that most kids aren't going to go to kindergarten in a diaper - they'll eventually get it, right! But that doesn't mean that the months that go by where you endlessly saying, "Do you have to go potty?" Do you have to go potty?" "Lets go to the potty..." any less difficult.

It's these small things that most people would say are an incidental part of life - but they are the moments that make up yours and my days. And the monotony of facing these issues day after day can become very tiring. You can start to get frustrated, start worrying and sometimes even loose hope.

So - I share my story with you to say, "Don't be discouraged, Mom!" Keep plugging away. Know that God is there to breathe wisdom and grace into your heart and mind so that you can be the best mother possible. Throw your frustrations at His feet and trust that He's got your little ones in the palm of His great big loving hand.

Sometimes, its just the little victories that give us hope to keep going.

Kirsten's 25 Random Things

1. My name is Kirsten (pronounced Kursten) but the traditional Swedish way to say it is Kyersten.

2. In 1st grade there was a Kirsten (that's me) a Kristen and a Kyrsten, I think my teacher went nuts trying to keep all us blonds straight.

3. I met my hubby Cy in the early 90's when I was in high school and he was done with college, we married in 2000 and have 2 beautiful kids.

4. I've appeared on channel 5, 9 and 11 and have been featured in both the Star Tribune and St. Paul Pioneer Press for various, but very special segments.

5. I want a tattoo, but will probably never get one. 

6. I DESPISE snakes, toy or real and freeze up at the thought of an encounter with one, toy or real, one day on accident.

7. I make goals for myself according to my age, so this year I have 34 things I'd like to try and do.

8. I've been to Guatemala and Mexico on missions trips.

9. The next missions trip I would like to take is to Africa.

10. I want to go skydiving this summer

11. I love to make cards for any and every occasion, I don't htink I've bought a card in 4 or 5 years.

12. The longest I've been all by myself on a trip is 36 hours.

13. I was born on Friday the 13th!

14 I love entering amature cooking contests.

15. I am comfortable when flip my pinky toe over the next biggest toe...I sit like that when I'm working, watching movies, driving the car (yes, I can do it in my shoes if I try) ect...my husband tries to undo my toe, but I just flip it right back, it drives him NUTS!

16. My paperwork is organized chaos, I never loose anything and can tell you which pile something is in.  

17. I wanted to be a professional ice skater when I was younger.

18. If I wasn't married with kids I think I would go into the world of entertainment - tv or radio something fun.

19. I was a teacher for 3 years and had the same class 2 of the 3 years.  The second time around my students really knew me, so my whole "play strict the first few weeks to lay down the law in the classroom" bit didn't work...even on the new students.

20. I lived in the same house for 32 years, we live 2 miles from it and my mom still lives there so it's fun to see my kids run around that yard now.

21. I love playing card games - Hearts and Nuts are my favorite, but we just learned a new one called 5 Crowns.

22. My favorite smell is a roast in the crock pot - reminds me of coming home after church growing up to a roast dinner.

23. I was a pastor's kid growing up, everyone knew me so when I wandered in the kitchen while the church ladies were preparing food for a wedding no one gave me a second thought...until I took a large swipe out of the front of the wedding cake...the brides mom wasn't too happy, the frosting was a special cream color and couldn't be matched before the reception....come on I was 4 or 5 years old, what kid that age wouldn't have done the same thing.

24. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Indian food, probably because when we adopted my brother (he was 2 months old) we attended a lot of Indian events and were usually the only white people there, but it was such a wonderful experience....oh that smell, I remember it like it was yesterday.

25. I LOVE MY HEAVENLY FATHER WITH ALL MY HEART AND AM SO GRATEFUL TO KNOW HIM AND TO HAVE BEEN SAVED BY HIM.

Kari's 25 Random Things

1. I love reading other peoples 25 Random Things.......... but hate to think of my own. This goes along with email chains as well. SO will be like pulling teeth.

2. I am 1/2 Italian yet I think I am 100%.

3. I am the oldest of three biological sisters. I have a half brother. I also have 3 step sisters, and three step brothers.

4. I love to cook and try new recipes. I love when Scott and I can cook together.

5. I love to check my mailbox. I love when there is a letter and not just bills.

6. I have a subscription to Southern Living Magazine. When it comes it is a very happy day. I will read it in one sitting. I always start from the back.

7. Moving from Charlotte, North Carolina was one of the hardest events in my life. Yet, I knew that God was with us every step of the way. He has proven that to us time and time again.

8. I still miss the south,........... southern things......... southern food, manners.... and monograming.

9. I think that Chic if la chicken biscuits are the most amazing sinful breakfast treats.

10. I think that it's funny that the first boy I ever kissed at age 13 is on Face-book.

11. My sophomore year of college I went skydiving with Chauntelle. I hope my girls never do that.

12. I have never been across the "big pond". My dream is to go to Austria and Italy with Scott.

13. My dream job would be to be a professional organizer. I know that is really funny-!! But true.

14. I became a Christian when I was 5. Yet I did not learn to know Christ and have a relationship with him until after I had Madison. I was 28.

15. I love a good thunder and lightening storm. The bigger and louder, the better.

16. I would rather go to the OB/GYN, that to the dentist. Sorry Heather and Nada:)

17. My parents divorced when I was 9. I never remember them fighting ever.

18. I have become who I am by being surrounded my amazing friends.

19. I met Scott in a bar. I will forever be grateful to Jennifer and Bubba West. Thank you for Bubba being there at the right time with Scott and Jennifer for dragging me out. That night changed my life forever. I love my husband more than anything in the world.

20. I love being a wife to Scott and mother to Madison and Amelia.

21. Back in the day, I thought Donnie Osmond was the best thing since sliced bread. I once went to one of their concerts and he kissed my hand. I was all of 8. Didn't think I would ever wash my hands.

22. I have lived in 5 states. Georgia, Florida, South and North Carolina and Minnesota. I have lived in 18 houses/apartments/townhomes. I should have this moving thing down pat.

23. I went to a Women's College (Converse) my Freshman year college. I wen to classes in my PJs.

24. I think that the North Carolina Mountains are one of the most magical places on earth.

25. This was right up there with going to Dentis

25 Random Things...

I'm a bit of a Facebook junkie. It makes me feel like I can keep in touch with what's going on in the lives of the people I care about without having to talk on the phone. (Really HATE talking on the phone, actually)

So - there's a new thing floating around on Facebook... 25 Random Things About Me. You make a list of 25 random things about yourself and share it with your friends. SO, below you will find my list. And in the next couple weeks, the leadership/teaching team from Moms Group will be sharing their lists too, so you can get to know ALL of us a little better!!! Enjoy!

1. I am addicted to peanut butter M&M's
2. We have a group of 6 friends that celebrate birthdays together... we always laugh so hard my throat hurts the next day.
3. When I met Jeff, I was dating another guy named Jeff, and so my parents nicknamed Jeff Kerr "weekday Jeff" and the other guy "weekend Jeff" so they could tell them apart when they called for me. I picked the right Jeff.
4. My sister is my best friend.
5. My mom is the most gracious woman I know
6. My dad is my hero.
7. I have spent 7 months of my life laying in bed on doctors orders for pregnancies... worth every second.
8. My son almost died when he was 2 days old - he was born 12 weeks premature. Jesus healed him. I still tear up every time Charlie laughs.
9. My kids fascinate me - and I think they are the sun and the moon
10. I cringe when I think about my youthful years... I was REALLY uptight.
11. I spent a summer living with my Grandma in Nebraska when I was 19. I checked groceries at Baily's Town & Country market and dated the president of the Future Farmers of America.
12. I hate cleaning my house and will do almost anything to avoid it.
13. I never listen to music unless I'm working. It jumbles my head and I can't think.
14. Most of my creative ideas happen when I'm doing dishes.
15. I think I get less confident the older I get - but I've also made peace with who I am and don't feel the need to please everyone NEAR as much as I did when I was younger.
16. I was the music director at a church shaped like Noah's Ark. i had a porthole window in my office.
17. I love articulate people.
18. My father in law intrigues me.
19. I love dreaming big - and very often my creativity and the constraints of reality come crashing down on my head.
20. My husband is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is nothing like what I thought I wanted - but has changed me for the better in innumerable ways. And he gets better with age.
21. I don't worry a lot.
22. I am writing a book.
23. I am a teacher at heart - and love helping people find and refine their gifts.
24. I am constantly growing in my faith - and feel like I am just getting an understanding of how much God loves me.
25. I can stay home for long stretches of time as long as I have my family and good food.

Here We Go!

Are you ready!  We are getting ready to start up Moms Group again!  I have missed seeing all your beautiful faces and seeing you all connecting and sharing your lives with each other!

We will start the next session on Jan 13/14.  We will be studying "Boundaries With Kids" which is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE studies on parenting.  It is a fantastic resource for kids of any age - teaching responsibility and discipline.  I encourage you to come and bring a friend.  This is a great opportunity to invite a neighbor or girlfriend who might not be interested in a "church" study - but WOULD be interested in learning how to be a better mom!

I know it can be hard to get out of the house when its cold and you need to find all the hats and mittens, etc!  Minnesota winters can be a really isolating time for moms.  But I want to encourage you to take the time to do this for yourself and for your kids.  You need to have time where you can connect with other women and support each other.  

Looking forward to seeing you all!

Lacey

I know some of you have heard, but our sweet Lacey needs our prayers right now.  She was admitted to the Mayo clinic a week ago for a lung infection, and she is not responding to treatment right now.  She is currently on a ventilator to breath for her and they are trying various antibiotics to try and stop this pneumonia.

I was able to visit her last night.  I told her that there were hundreds 0f Moms back home praying for her and sending all our love and support her way.  Please continue to pray for a miracle for our dear friend.  Matt specifically asked us to "just believe that God can do a miracle."  So that's what I'm doing.

I'll update as I get news...

Be Prepared

Be prepared.  That's the Boy Scout motto.  Anticipate what you might encounter for the day and make sure you have the tools and skills you will need to rise to the challenge.

This morning it became glaringly clear to me that if - in fact - I WERE a Boy Scout, I would fail miserably.  No fancy badges and medals for this trooper.  For you see, my friends, I was ill prepared to face what I awoke to this morning.   What was this obstacle I faced which caused such an epiphany?  Snow.

Yup.  The first snowfall of the season.  Don't get me wrong - it was beautiful.  Picturesque even.  If it was a SATURDAY morning, I would have put on my fuzzy slippers, made some hot chocolate and settled in front of a window for some soul searching.

But today is not Saturday.  It's Friday.  Which means school.  Which means hats.  Which means gloves.  Which means boots, snow pants, and scarves.   Which means, I'm in big trouble.  If I was a model boy scout, I would have watched the news, saw that the forecast indeed was calling for snow, and spent last night making preparations for the blessed event that I would awake to this morning.

Instead, 5 minutes before the kids needed to leave, I was rummaging through bins, tearing through drawers, and ransacking closets desperately searching for appropriate outerwear.  As my kids watched on, I ran from room to room, upstairs to downstairs, looking for anything to put on their sweet little bodies to keep them warm and dry.

I found a couple gloves... one Spiderman and one Dora - of course, no pairs of anything.  I found boots that were two sizes too small (duh Kristie!  They have all grown two inches since last year!)  Snow pants that have broken zippers and snow pants that barely reach the kneecaps.  Coats that need liners zipped in and coats that need liners zipped out.  I seriously considered sending my son to school in hot pink snow boots.

Finally, I threw my hands up in defeat and said, "Sorry kids.  Just keep your hands in your pockets and don't jump in any snow banks."  I had been defeated.  Minnesota snow storm - 1; Kristie Kerr - 0.

But tomorrow is another day.  I'm going to pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again.  I will face my obstacle head on with perseverance and determination.  How will I do this, you ask? I'm going to Target.  That's how we Girls Scouts do it.

Grace For the Moment

My heart is overwhelmed tonight. I got to spend a few precious minutes with a dear high school friend this afternoon. Amy and I were thrown together in a choir group in the 10th grade - and she quickly became one of my closest friends in high school. I haven't seen her for many, many years, but recently I heard that she had cancer. After tracking her down, I learned that they had discovered Stage 2 breast cancer when she was 12 weeks pregnant with her second child - and despite treatment, it has progressed into her spine.

Today, some high school classmates held a benefit and I was able to see Amy. She is exactly like I always remembered her... upbeat, bubbly, and filled with an uncanny ability to make you feel like you are the most important person in the world. We tried to find a quiet spot and she pulled her chair close to mine and began to ask about what I was doing and about my family. As I told her about my life she beamed, "Oh, Kristie... your life is everything you always dreamed it would be... I am so thrilled for you!"

As we talked, I was overwhelmed by her strength. I was overwhelmed by her courage. She has videotaped hundreds of messages for her children to watch of her as they grow older, so they will always have a piece of her with them. Videos for their wedding day. Videos for the day they become parents. Videos reminding them how much she loves them and how proud she is to be their mother.

I look at her and say, "I can't believe how strong you are." And she speaks profound words to me. She says, "If you were in my shoes, you would be too. You just would." I can't imagine facing what she is facing, but somehow, I believe her. She seems to be drawing from a place in her that she never knew existed until she was faced with this incredible battle.

I've have indeed experienced those times when I felt like I wasn't strong enough to handle what was sitting before me. Small and trite compared to my friend's struggles - nevertheless I have seen the grace of God flood over me in a rush of supernatural adrenaline that has allowed me to face the moments where I felt I couldn't take a second more.

Today, the words of a new favorite song have been constantly ringing through my head:

Stronger. You are stronger.
Sin is broken. You have saved me.
It is written. Christ is risen.
Jesus You are Lord of all.

I am thankful that I have a God who is stronger than me. He is stronger than my deepest fears and lowliest moments. In my weakest...He is strongest.

I am indeed thankful for the grace for the moment.

Homeward Bound

i haven't left my house in a while.  a couple days actually.  if you count total hours out of my home this week, it would have to be less than 15.  moms group on tuesday and wednesday night, a movie on thursday night, dinner at my sisters friday night.  other than that, its been home sweet home.

right now i'm on a stretch of about 36 straight hours by myself with just my kids.  jeff is at the men's retreat (or "boy camp" as my kids are calling it.)  Dottie has been a bit under the weather, so i decided that trying to get the whole crew to church by myself would be futile,  so here we are.  family bonding time.

sometimes i think i'm a little odd in the fact that i can be at home for long stretches and it doesn't seem to bother me too much.  of course, i get a little jumpy and short and testy with the kids, but for the most part i seem to be able to entertain myself pretty well.  i've got lots of bible study lessons to write, kids that always need something, a pantry full of ideas for cooking and baking, and facebook...what more could a girl need?

actually, i'm starting to realize that maybe its all part of how God made me.  maybe in a part of his grand scheme for my life, he equipped me with the temperament i was going to need for the purposes he has for me.  i am a teacher and writer - which requires a lot of time by myself studying.  i love it.  i am a musician and songwriter which requires more time by myself sitting at my piano.  love that too.  i am a mother of four which means that there are a significant amount of obstacles that i face it trying to get out the door.  so i stay home instead... and that's just  fine with me.

all i'm saying is that every once and a while you stumble on a part of your personality that seems to be custom fit for the direction God has for your life.  Granted, there are times that you feel like the direction God is leading is a huge stretch outside of yourself, but then there are the times when it feels natural and inborn... and i'm thankful for those times.  it's comforting to feel purpose in what you naturally gravitate towards.

i am learning more and more to embrace the way i am.  i used to feel weird about the fact that i like to stay home all the time... but now i realize that it is part of the grand design of my life.  people always ask me how i come up with creative ideas for things.  my answer: i think about stuff... alot.  i read... alot.  i imagine... alot.

so, what little gift did God place in you that custom fits his grand scheme for your life?  it can be easy to overlook sometimes.   maybe the fact that you to hang out with friends and always have a "coffee" scheduled just seems like habit.  but what if that social part of you was designed so that you could be an encouragement and influence in people's lives.  maybe that organizational side of you seems to be "just the way you are..."  but what if God made you able to administrate all kinds of things so that you could make a difference in the world by helping practically accomplish the dreams God has given you and others.  What about you guys that are fantastic in the workplace - you thrive in a business setting and love your careers.  I truly believe that God has given you the gifts you have to use for his great plan on the earth.

so - here's to embracing who you are.  here's to not comparing yourself to the way other people live and instead embracing who you were designed to be.  here's to you... in all your uniqueness.

ok - perhaps i should get out of these sweat pants...

Girls Night!

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you! 

Thank you all so much for helping with our very first Girls Night!  I was totally blown away last night!  We had planned on about 200 girls... and had 400 show up!!!  Thank you to all who jumped in to help register, do hair, paint nails, run to the store to buy more of EVERYTHING, and help with crowd control.  (By the way - I'm not sure how the rumor that the Jonas Brothers were there got started... but it was pretty funny to hear them chanting outside the doors and see them all come running into the auditorium screaming!!!)

I was mostly blessed to see SO many visitors, neighbors and friends there who you all invited.  I spoke to so many parents who this was their first time at RVC - and because of your hard work, their girls had a fantastic night!

Ready for another one?!?!?  Hmmmm...maybe in the spring!

2 Important Events!

I wanted to let you know about 2 upcoming events you won't want to miss!  First of all, our Girls Night is just a week away!  This is a night for our young ladies age 6 - 12 (under 6 are welcome with a parent) where we will be having makeovers, munchies, crafts, photos, and a special service just for girls!  I will be speaking - encouraging those lovely ladies to accept the way God made them and know that they are all beautiful just the way they are!

You can sign up online at rivervalleychurch.org on the Children's Ministry page under Upcoming Events!  You can also pay at the door, but if you could help me by signing up online - that would be huge!  I want to make sure we have enough gift bags and cupcakes to go around!!

Secondly, there will be a benefit for one of our sweet ladies - Lacey Chambers - who is battling cancer on Sat, Oct 11.  It will be held at the Rosemount VFW from 4-8pm.  There will be a spaghetti dinner, silent auction, and raffle.  We will be selling tickets on Tuesday mornings, or you can contact me!  We also are looking for donations and help with the event - so let me know if you would like to help.  Let's support our girl!!!

100!

What a great start we had to Moms Group this week.  We had a total of 100 women come to connect with each other!  Can't wait to start our new study on marriage this week.  Be praying - and don't forget to invite your 2 friends!!

Top 10 Reasons You Should Be At Moms Group

1. Support:  Being a mom is hard stuff!  There are so many times that I am discouraged, frustrated, TIRED, or just needing to talk and the women at Moms Group always rally around me and cheer me on.  No matter how befrazzled I am when I walk in the door... I always leave refreshed and encouraged.  
2. Kids:  Our kids always have a fantastic time in their classes!  They make friends and our sweet workers love to make our time together fun and full of learning too!
3. Food:  Our moms have been known to lay out a spread that will make anyone's day better.  My favorites...chocolate cake.  For breakfast...mmmmmmmm.
4. Fun:  We do love to laugh at Moms Group!
5. Prayer:  It's so wonderful to know that you can share what's going on in your life with the ladies in your group, and know that they will be praying for you all during the week!  
6. Adult Conversation:  Many days my conversation is filled with words like "big girl underwear" and "kirby squeak squad" [which is a video game, by the way]  Sometimes it's just nice to talk about something other than assignment notebooks and Hannah Montana.  "Big girl conversation" if you will...
7. New Friends:  Who couldn't use a friend?  
8. Learning:  We spend time every week studying a topic to make us better wives, mothers, and people in general.  No outside prep required... just come, listen, and discuss!
9. Encourage Someone Else:  There's nothing better than being able to put your arm around someone's shoulder and say, "I've made it through that, and you can too."  There is a woman at Moms Group who is going to need encouragement... and you can be the one who gives it.
10. Why Not?  It's easy to make excuses why you can't be there.  Kids nap schedule.  You don't know anyone.  It's too hard to get out the door (this is my excuse of choice lately!)  But...why not give it a try?  Maybe you'll meet one person who will become an amazing friend to you.  Maybe you'll hear something that will help your marriage become stronger.  Maybe that hug or smile from a friend will make your day.  What have you got to lose?

You're Not My Mudder

Betty is bossy.  Her bossiness manifests itself in many ways, but usually it involves her big brother.  Yesterday, Jeff and I watched her stand in front of the TV where Charlie was immersed in an intense game of Super Smash Bros, and begin to tell him that he could no longer play games.  "It's time for you to turn off the games, Charlie.  I told you that you could have five more minutes to play, and now it's time to take a break."  The actual rhetoric is funny enough, but her body language is priceless; wide open eyes, slow turning of the head back and forth,  and hands on the hips.

She likes to boss Charlie around because it really gets him riled up.  The rest of us tend to ignore her, but she really gets under his skin.  His reply to her is almost always the same.  He'll say, "No I don't!" and she'll say, "Yes you do!"  This will escalate back and forth a few times before Charlie will yell out in frustration, "You're not my mudder!"

I've been trying to figure out why it bothers him so much.  Perhaps he is unsure if she really carries the authority she claims.  She sure acts like she is the boss - so she must be.

Once again, I am seeing a reflection of myself in my kiddos.  I am a bit of a people pleaser by nature, and I tend to find myself worrying more about what other people think about me than I should be.  I tend to let people's opinions and approval dictate my actions.  And, if I'm not careful, I can allow people's opinion of me to dictate my opinion of myself, which is a pretty precarious position to put yourself in.  They sure act like the boss - so they must be.

Every fall, I do some re-evaluating of my own life and spiritual walk and try and make some goals for myself.  This time around, the top of my list says one word: Confidence.

I am realizing that confidence has less to do with a strong self image or lack of personal insecurity.  My recent revelation has been that confidence is recognizing who is in charge of your life and who is not.  Confidence is fully embracing the fact that I am accountable to God for everything I do and everything I am.  When I keep my eyes fully fixed on Him, I can stand confident in His direction.  I can swim upstream if I know that He has called me to do it.  I can stop looking to other people to validate me or invalidate me, my validation is sealed in Him.

This summer we had a family reunion and Jeff's family were reminiscing about his grandfather, Howard Kerr.  Howard was a minister, missionary, and extraordinary man of faith.  One of his daughters was sharing with all of us about his incredible relationship with Jesus and his personal freedom in Christ.  She talked about the summers they would spend at the Bible Camp where they had a cottage.  This was in the very legalistic years of the church and the camp had a rule that no one was allowed to swim on Sundays.  Everyone seemed to think this was a pretty silly rule, because after all, they were on vacation and were on a lakefront - but nevertheless, that was the rule.  She said, "I have very vivid memories of my Dad walking back up from the lake on Sunday mornings with a towel over his shoulder, fresh from a dip in Lake Ontario."  He never said anything to anyone about it, but she said it absolutely demonstrated to her that his faith was his faith and it was not going to be dictated to him by anyone other than Jesus.  That was Howard Kerr's way of saying, "You're not my mudder."  Aunt Kath told us that whenever she was facing a decision in her life, her  Dad's response to her was always, "Well, Kath, what do you think the Lord would want you to do?" 

I supposed that you could look at Howard Kerr as a rebel.  You could imagine that he raised some eyebrows at Cobourg Pentecostal Camp in the 1950's.  But as I looked around at the 55 members of his family who were attending this family reunion, I couldn't help but notice that ALL of them were serving the Lord.  Most of them are in full time ministry all around the world.  Could it be that Howard passed on something way more tangible than just following the status quo?  I believe he passed on a sense that as believers, we are to nurture our walk with Jesus Christ and find confidence in His direction and leading.  That inner confidence only comes when we know who we're living for. 

The Bible makes it very clear that when our life on earth is over, we will each stand before God to give an account of how we lived.  I cannot say, "But so and so said that I should do this..." or "I know you wanted me to do that, but other people told me I couldn't..."

I have to recognize who's voice I'm listening to.  Who am I living for?  Who am I let dictate my worth or value or even the direction of my life?  If the answer is anything other than "Jesus Christ," I am on the wrong road.

I have a poem hanging over my kitchen sink called "Anyway."  Apparently, it was found hanging on the wall in Mother Theresa's orphanage in India.  The poem say:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight:

Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God

It was never between you and them anyway.

You're not my mudder, indeed. 

Our Sweet Lacey

I wanted to send an update on our dear friend Lacey who is battling cancer.  Here is her latest note:

Matt lost his job on Monday. It is silly really. He is a Veteran's Representative with the VFW. He helps veterans get their VA benefits and understand all the paperwork from the VA. Well, I guess his new boss just found out that he is not eligible to be a member of the VFW because he never actually set foot on foreign soil. There is a national rule that all Service Officers must be VFW members and so they had to let him go. His boss felt terrible, he tried everything he could to keep him and wrote him a really nice letter of recommendation but in the end he couldn't keep Matt. So it was a mad scramble on Monday and Tuesday trying to figure out where our money was going to come from but more importantly our INSURANCE! What a mess. I think I have it all settled out now but I was a crying wreck by last night.

THEN, last night I got some bad news from Mayo. I had started calling over there early this week because over our vacation last week I started to feel signs that my tumor is growing again. Well, if it is on the move I wanted to make sure that everything was set in place for the next step of my treatment. I got a call back at 4:40 Tuesday evening (of course, I was out and missed the call). The message was that there was a clinical study starting next week but the coordinator was only going to be in the office for another 20 minutes and wouldn't be back in till Monday. If I didn't make it into this study I would have to wait for the next one in a month or month and a half. WHAT!? Of course, it was after 5pm when I got home from the store. I tried to call anyway but the phone at Mayo just rang. My cancer is starting to push out on my chest. This baby can grow really fast when it wants to. I don't have a month and a half to wait for the next study. More crying.

This morning I talked to my doctor at Mayo (who called the coordinator on her cell on her vacation for me) and I am in. I will go down some time early next week to get started.

More good news. I have a couple of sweet girlfriends working on benefits for me. I wanted to get out some information on that. I will send out that information very soon.

Here is the info on the benefits.  If you have anything to donate - or can help in any way - please do!  And remember that we have all committed to pray for Lacey every morning at 9:05.  We believe that Jesus is her Healer!!!

Garage Sale

All proceeds going to Lacey’s medical needs

Given by Leesa Cachuela

9498 Hamlet Ave S

Cottage Grove, MN 55016

August 29th – 31st

Please stop by we will have lots of baby equipment, kid’s toys and clothes!

If you would like to donate any items to the sale or help out in any way call

Leesa at 651-768-3243

Benefit for Chambers Family

All proceeds going to Lacey’s medical needs

September 27th save the date!

More information to come.

If you would like to help out in any way call Dawn at

651-330-2511 or email ddmeyers@comcast.net